It's easy to test the waters: wait until you're next having sex then playfully slap them on the bottom, seeing what effect that has.

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Following closely behind tie-up games in the popularity stakes is spanking.

Most don't take it to the extreme (aka the 'training' that Anatasia needed before her sessions in Fifty Shades), starting off playfully and seeing where it takes them.

One woman I know has a pair of ridiculously high heels that she puts on naked whenever she wants sex with her partner.'I feel sexy in them, he's instantly turned on and it's a clear signal of 'I'm up for it' that can't be misconstrued,' she says.

Though do a test run video first to get the right angle (nothing worse than watching a hot sex session afterward and hating the way you look! Store it somewhere safe (like a Dropbox account) and your kids won't get a surprise they won't forget when they next pick up your phone.

But by removing all the uncertainty and tension, sex moves from being 'charged' to comfortable. Outrageously good sex usually has some factors we think of as 'negative': guilt, rule-breaking, fear of being caught, forbidden elements, being selfish about our pleasure, doing something we know our friends would be horrified by (well, we like to think so anyway).

This type of sex usually happens in sex-for-sex's-sake relationships, one-night-stands, affairs and during risky sex with someone we really shouldn't be with. There are some couples out there who manage to balance intimacy and excitement, getting the best of both worlds.Book a restaurant that has booths or long tablecloths, wear a floaty skirt or dress, tell your partner you're about to do something that will impress them, maintain eye contact and remove your knickers while sitting at the table.It's easier than you think to do it without attracting attention (even easier in a maxi dress) especially if you use your partner's body as a shield.You'll find everything from vibrating penis rings to vibrators you wear during intercourse.Remote controlled sex toys like love eggs can turn a trip to the supermarket into the sexiest thing you've done in years.It really is possible to push yourselves way out of your comfort zones without feeling like an extra on a porn shoot.